Now Apu, Mrs. Simpson claims that she forgot she was carrying that bottle of…delicious bourbon (looks at bottle). Brownest of the brown liquors. So tempting. What's that? You want me to drink you? But I'm in the middle of a trial. Excuse me...(runs out of the room)
-Lionel Hutz, Attorney at Law
We're slowly discovering that Hawaii is lacking some key institutions that we've taken for granted in the past. For example, there's no Ikea. You can't even get your Umplong office chair or Oklog pencil holder shipped here! There's no Trader Joes, so gone are the days of Two-buck Chuck and vegetable medley with eggs for breakfast. There's not a single casino anywhere. And today I learned there's no BevMo! How am I supposed to tend to my vices?!
Not only is BevMo missing, but my favorite bourbon, Knob Creek, costs 42 bucks for 0.75 liters at Safeway. That same 3/4 liter bottle is $18.95 at the San Pablo Ave. BevMo in Albany! Granted, I get pretty good whiskey mileage (about 0.25 liters per month, or 400 mpg, even better if I'm not playing home-game poker regularly), but a 100+% price hike is more than just a little bit annoying.
Fortunately, I found a $33 bottle at Longs. But please bring a couple liters if/when you come for a visit. I'll even let you have the first drink!