Skip to main content

Missing items

Now Apu, Mrs. Simpson claims that she forgot she was carrying that bottle of…delicious bourbon (looks at bottle). Brownest of the brown liquors. So tempting. What's that? You want me to drink you? But I'm in the middle of a trial. Excuse me...(runs out of the room)
-Lionel Hutz, Attorney at Law

We're slowly discovering that Hawaii is lacking some key institutions that we've taken for granted in the past. For example, there's no Ikea. You can't even get your Umplong office chair or Oklog pencil holder shipped here! There's no Trader Joes, so gone are the days of Two-buck Chuck and vegetable medley with eggs for breakfast. There's not a single casino anywhere. And today I learned there's no BevMo! How am I supposed to tend to my vices?!

Not only is BevMo missing, but my favorite bourbon, Knob Creek, costs 42 bucks for 0.75 liters at Safeway. That same 3/4 liter bottle is $18.95 at the San Pablo Ave. BevMo in Albany! Granted, I get pretty good whiskey mileage (about 0.25 liters per month, or 400 mpg, even better if I'm not playing home-game poker regularly), but a 100+% price hike is more than just a little bit annoying.

Fortunately, I found a $33 bottle at Longs. But please bring a couple liters if/when you come for a visit. I'll even let you have the first drink!


Amy said…
Will they allow me to bring you the Knob Creek?
Speaking of that, is there anything else you guys are missing? Remember, I'm in Davenport. We don't have Ikea or Trader Joes, either...but there are 2 Ikeas in Chicago and a Trader Joes in St. Louis, so I could make something happen if need be.
What if I dragged a bottle of Crown Royal or Johnnie Walker Black down there? Would that please your delicate palate?

Popular posts from this blog

An annual note to all the (NSF) haters

It's that time of year again: students have recently been notified about whether they received the prestigious NSF Graduate Student Research Fellowship. Known in the STEM community as "The NSF," the fellowship provides a student with three years of graduate school tuition and stipend, with the latter typically 5-10% above the standard institutional support for first- and second-year students. It's a sweet deal, and a real accellerant for young students to get their research career humming along smoothly because they don't need to restrict themselves to only advisors who have funding: the students fund themselves!
This is also the time of year that many a white dude executes what I call the "academic soccer flop." It looks kinda like this:

It typically sounds like this: "Congrats! Of course it's easier for you to win the NSF because you're, you know, the right demographic." Or worse: "She only won because she's Hispanic."…

Culture: Made Fresh Daily

There are two inspirations for this essay worth noting. The first is an impromptu talk I gave to the board of trustees at Thatcher School while I was visiting in October as an Anacapa Fellow. Spending time on this remarkable campus interacting with the students, faculty and staff helped solidify my notions about how culture can be intentionally created. The second source is Beam Times and Lifetimes by Sharon Tarweek, an in-depth exploration of the culture of particle physics told by an anthropologist embedded at SLAC for two decades. It's a fascinating look at the strange practices and norms that scientists take for granted.
One of the stories that scientists tell themselves, whether implicitly or explicitly, is that science exists outside of and independent of society. A corollary of this notion is that if a scientific subfield has a culture, e.g. the culture of astronomy vs. the culture of chemistry, that culture is essential rather than constructed. That is to say, scientific c…

The Long Con

Hiding in Plain Sight

ESPN has a series of sports documentaries called 30 For 30. One of my favorites is called Broke which is about how professional athletes often make tens of millions of dollars in their careers yet retire with nothing. One of the major "leaks" turns out to be con artists, who lure athletes into elaborate real estate schemes or business ventures. This naturally raises the question: In a tightly-knit social structure that is a sports team, how can con artists operate so effectively and extensively? The answer is quite simple: very few people taken in by con artists ever tell anyone what happened. Thus, con artists can operate out in the open with little fear of consequences because they are shielded by the collective silence of their victims.
I can empathize with this. I've lost money in two different con schemes. One was when I was in college, and I received a phone call that I had won an all-expenses-paid trip to the Bahamas. All I needed to do was p…