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Props to tha O dawg

I gotta give big ups to my main man, Owen. Today he completed his first 5 hour plane ride as a 2-year-old and he did better than most adults I know. We bought a separate ticket for him, which made all the difference, I think. We hooked up his car seat and rocked the flight. He cried twice, each time for about 10 seconds.

When was the last time you sat next to a 2-year-old that good? I defy you to find a better-behaved kid on an airplane.

The roughest part of the journey was about 2 hours in. I had everything planned out. I let him push all of the buttons for lights, volume, etc. Then I let him play with my cell phone and my iPod. Then we ate some food, read books and changed a dirty diaper (no thanks to the snooty flight attendant who acted like she had never seen/smelled a kid with a dirty diaper before). The next step in my plan was to pop the Baby E. into the Powerbook and feed him while he was nicely sedated by the moving colors and new words. When Owen gets tired and hungry, he's really hard to feed without a hit from the Baby E. needle. I asked Erin which bag the DVDs were in, and she said, "Uh oh, that's the one thing I didn't do. They're in the checked luggage."

You know that feeling you get when you slip in the shower? That split second filled with terror and adrenaline and shampoo? That's how I felt as I tried to come to grips with a hungry, tired, unfeedable Owen strapped into a tiny airplane seat at 30,000 feet. Oh holy hell in a handbasket, we are in for 3 hours of misery, I thought. But then I remembered that Owen had watched some DDD on my computer after we packed up the TV. Maybe, just maybe, Erin forgot to hit eject.

Fortunately, there's a happy ending to this story. Baby Einstein: Baby Neptune was still in the drive. Sweet merciful Jeebus we were saved. Owen learned about the ocean animals, rivers and whales while I fed him an Aloha Airlines complementary breakfast sammich. After his hit of BabyE and a fresh pacifier (baba) he passed out for 1.5 hours, I put on some tunes and enjoyed the ride.

As the plane descended into Honolulu, Owen said softly, "Down-down-down, Hawaii!"

Comments

karinms said…
You're like the best blogger ever. I finish commenting on one post and there's another waiting for me :-)
I think in that DDD situation I would have had something like ONG-BAK: Thai Warrior in the drive. O Dawg would have been kicking the other passengers in the shin somewhere over Cabo San Lucas.
JohnJohn said…
Thanks for the encouragement, Karin. You sure know the right things to say to keep me posting!
mquinn said…
Lesson learned: Always keep a ripped copy of a Baby Einstein DDD on the laptop. Of course, as a single guy, that may not be the best idea for my laptop.

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