Skip to main content

Fathering as investment

I just read an absolutely amazing post my one of my favorite bloggers Ta-Nahisi Coates (pronounced tah-nuh-hah-see). It's about Barack Obama's white grand parents, their unheralded heroism, and parenthood. Even if you don't support Obama, this is a truly inspiring piece that goes way beyond politics (read the full post here). Here's an exerpt:
"Barack Obama's grandmother is gravely ill. My temptation yesterday was to say nothing. And then, this morning, I came across this picture at Andrew's [blog]. I've reflected a lot--personally--on Obama's campaign and the values of parenting. I often think about how his Dad left him, and never knew that his son would be within days of the presidency of the greatest power in history. Think about this--what else could a father want? My own Dad often says that too many black men see child-rearing as "responsibility" and not "personal investment." They forget about the joy that children bring, and instead focus on the bills, or on stupid, petty beefs with women. As my own son creeps past eight, I've been reminded of that."
After reading this post, I was holding Marcus and rocking him to sleep for the night. There are other things to get caught up on: my lack of free time, how hard it is to get a 3-month-old baby to fall asleep, how I just want to sit down and veg out, how hard it is to have a conversation with my wife with a 3-year-old constantly vying for her attention. But as I stood there with my son in my arms, instead of focusing on all that, I just focused on the dividends of joy paid out daily by my investments in Owen and Marcus. Sure, I'd have more free time--and more freedom, in some sense--if I didn't have kids. But I don't really see how I could be more happy.

Comments

erinjohn said…
this really made me smile today. i'm so grateful for you & all you do :)
mama mia said…
love this posting and love that photo
Anonymous said…
What a precious photo!

Something Ben likes to say is that children bring a lot of joy. It's fun that your experience fathering brings you to the same conclusion.

Popular posts from this blog

back-talk begins

me: "owen, come here. it's time to get a new diaper" him, sprinting down the hall with no pants on: "forget about it!" he's quoting benny the rabbit, a short-lived sesame street character who happens to be in his favorite "count with me" video. i'm turning my head, trying not to let him see me laugh, because his use and tone with the phrase are so spot-on.

The Long Con

Hiding in Plain Sight ESPN has a series of sports documentaries called 30 For 30. One of my favorites is called Broke  which is about how professional athletes often make tens of millions of dollars in their careers yet retire with nothing. One of the major "leaks" turns out to be con artists, who lure athletes into elaborate real estate schemes or business ventures. This naturally raises the question: In a tightly-knit social structure that is a sports team, how can con artists operate so effectively and extensively? The answer is quite simple: very few people taken in by con artists ever tell anyone what happened. Thus, con artists can operate out in the open with little fear of consequences because they are shielded by the collective silence of their victims. I can empathize with this. I've lost money in two different con schemes. One was when I was in college, and I received a phone call that I had won an all-expenses-paid trip to the Bahamas. All I needed to d

Reader Feedback: Whither Kanake in (white) Astronomy?

Watching the way that the debate about the TMT has come into our field has angered and saddened me so much. Outward blatant racism and then deflecting and defending. I don't want to post this because I am a chicken and fairly vulnerable given my status as a postdoc (Editor's note: How sad is it that our young astronomers feel afraid to speak out on this issue? This should make clear the power dynamics at play in this debate) .  But I thought the number crunching I did might be useful for those on the fence. I wanted to see how badly astronomy itself is failing Native Hawaiians. I'm not trying to get into all of the racist infrastructure that has created an underclass on Hawaii, but if we are going to argue about "well it wasn't astronomers who did it," we should be able to back that assertion with numbers. Having tried to do so, well I think the argument has no standing. At all.  Based on my research, it looks like there are about 1400 jobs in Hawaii r